A.J Murphy

I think this is a very good start. What i would like to note has already been noted before, in the other critiques. Continue with this. The way you wrote ...

I must say this piece is interesting, but I think you should add some memories and in the beginning I was confused about the age of the sisters, if one ...

I like this story, it's original and new. I just wanted to put out there that Sara seems like a very stereotypical popular girl, and if that's what you were ...